I remember the first time a good friend of mine confronted me about not telling the truth. They had approached Trisha a few days before and voiced their concerns, and got her permission to talk to me about it. This person listed a few examples of times that I had exaggerated details in a story. They gave me an example of a time I’d left out an important detail to make myself look better. They were concerned for me…they were concerned for my character. I was concerned about my image. I explained away the examples. I justified my choice. I told them they were blowing the whole thing out of proportion.
I remember the first time Trisha was suspicious of me watching inappropriate movies. She woke up and walked into the living room, and I quickly changed the channel. She questioned me. I denied. She pushed me more…I deflected and avoided. We argued and I negotiated. She believed me. I was lying. My image was more important than truth.
Somehow there is a part of us that believes that if we deny and cover up the sins we struggle with most that they will magically disappear. No one will notice. No one will get hurt. We can overcome them one day. So we compartmentalize. We disguise. We pretend. Hoping all the time that our struggles will lessen…but it doesn’t work that way.
What I have realized the hard way is that when I live with hidden sin, I only delay the healing that God longs to bring to my heart. I think I can heal myself. If I can manage my sin long enough then it will get better. I can conquer it. Freedom comes from confession not concealing. Healing comes from exposing not hiding.
I’ve lost so much by delaying the healing God longed to give me. Healing is possible. Freedom is offered. Don’t delay the wholeness you desperately long for. Sometimes the first person we have to be honest with is ourselves.
God is waiting to start the healing in you.