Maybe this is a public confession and has nothing to do with you. Maybe this post is just me needing to share an insecurity I have that most people don’t struggle with. The truth about me is I think I can do God’s job as good as He can do it. I don’t say that out loud, but in my heart, I think I’m in control of things of which I have no control.
Yesterday morning I sat in my office praying off and on as I battled some anxiety about our book release. “We’ve never written a book before, God. We’ve never released a book before God. What if we mess up this whole thing? What if we don’t pub the book enough? What if we pub it too much and annoy people? What if?”
It was kind of a passive agressive statement to let God know I didn’t want him to leave us hanging.
I felt God say to me in that moment, “You remember that time you were separated from your wife and kids; everything you owned was packed up in boxes; you worked as a server at P.F. Changs; you were selling furniture to pay your mortgage and had no idea if your marriage would make it? Who had you then?”
“You had me then, God.”
“I had you then and I have you now. Just do your thing, and let me do mine.”
My most intimate moments with God have been when I have fully surrendered control to him. It wasn’t like I had control anyway, but I gave up my need to control and allowed God to be God.
Maybe you can relate. Maybe you struggle with this too.
-What if my husband doesn’t change, God? You can’t change your husband, but God can. You can only be the wife God called you to be.
-What if my boss continues to be a jerk? You can’t make your boss easier to get along with. But God can change your heart toward your boss as you be the best employee you can be.
-What if I don’t get that raise, close that deal, get that bonus? But God can provide in amazing ways as you honor him with your finances.
Just do your thing and allow God to do His.
He is God, we are not.