5 Things a Wife Needs To Hear From Her Husband

February 5, 2013 — 6 Comments

What if I told you that three words could radically transform your marriage…would you say them? What if two words could change the climate of your house when you get home from work? What if asking one question to your wife had the power to reconnect your spiritually…would you ask it?

All of our marriages are different. All of our circumstances are unique. But these five statements carry power. These five statements carry life. These five statements are what every wife needs to hear from her husband.

1. I Love You

I am amazed at the power of these three words. Sometimes they are spoken in person, sometimes over the phone, sometimes in a text or a hand written card or note. I try to tell my wife I love her several times per day.

2. You are Beautiful

For our wives, a huge battle for them is their self-image. How they view themselves. I want my wife to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I think she is beautiful. I want her to hear me say it. I want her to see it in my eyes. I want her to go through her day believing that she is beautiful. I think she is, so I try to tell her as often as I can.

3. I’m Sorry

I hate conflict, so I used to apologize for everything. I don’t do that anymore. I have grown to see conflict in my relationship with Trisha as an opportunity to grow in intimacy with her. I embrace conflict. But, when I am wrong or when I have hurt her feelings, I say I’m sorry. Saying your sorry for consequences is different than saying your sorry for choices. I try to make sure I am at a place when I apologize, that I am sorry for my choice and not just the reaction or consequence of my choice. It makes all the difference.

4. I Believe In You

Our wives need to know that no matter what, we are their biggest cheerleader. It doesn’t matter if your wife is a stay at home mom or a CEO of a Fortune 500 company…she needs to know you believe in her. She needs to know that you support her and you have confidence in her.

5. How Can I Pray for You?

This is one that opens up rich conversation. This question implies I want to know my wife’s heart. When Trisha shares with me how I can pray for her, she is sharing with me those things that are closest and most precious to her…her fears; her insecurities; her imperfections; her frustrations. This question connects us on a spiritual and emotional level.

Speaking these words into your wife’s heart, will change your marriage. Your affection will grow for your wife. Her trust of you will grow. Your heart will transform. You will become more in tune to who your wife is and what her needs are. You will be God’s mouthpiece of truth into the heart of your wife.

Speak them. Text them. Write them. Just say them.

What other statements would you add to the list?

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Justin & Trisha are authors, bloggers, speakers and teachers in Nashville, TN. Their first book, Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn't Good Enough releases January 2013. You can find more info HERE.
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  • https://turnerbethany.wordpress.com/ turner_bethany

    Right on. Love this.

  • http://www.jeremybinns.com/ Jeremy Binns

    Excellent post. I’m pretty intentional about these items, but honestly it’s been a while since I’ve asked my wife how I could pray for her. Seeing it was a little bit of a ‘wow’ moment because I pray for her every day about what I think she might need or want, but I guess it’s time to get her input too.

    Thanks for sharing.

  • Amy

    my husband also tells me “Thank you for your hard work”. That really hits home.

  • lifesong

    Wonderful list. My husband does alot of these already. I am blessed.
    What else would I add?

    “I’m always on your side and backing you up.”

    “Which day of the week would you like me to hold the fort down while you get away and have some time to yourself?”

    “What things can I do to improve how I relate & I come across to you”?

  • Philip

    My wife enjoys hearing “I adore you” as well as “I love her”

  • Mark W

    I’m a little late joining the conversation, but Thank you for this! Here are some other things that I purpose to say to my wife:

    “I’m so glad I chose you!” because she needs to know that I have not changed my mind, and that I would choose her again, so she doesn’t feel insecure about my love.

    “You are amazing!” lets her know that I am duly impressed by who she has become and what she has accomplished; that I am proud of her; and that I delight to honor her.

    “I love spending time with you” communicates that I don’t feel an obligation to act like I am her friend, but that I truly enjoy living out our deep friendship, giving and receiving, communicating and commiserating and contemplating life together.

    Keep up the good work!