Archives For Books

The Wounded Healer

April 15, 2013 — 10 Comments

Trish and I spent the weekend in Buda, Texas speaking at The Connection Church. Early Saturday morning, Trish was sitting on the couch and I was standing looking over my notes, when she looked up from her phone with a sad look on her face.

“Justin, I want you to know Brennan Manning passed away.” She was scrolling through Twitter and started seeing numerous Brennan Manning quotes and saw that he’d passed away on Friday.

A few months after the affair, Trisha and I began reading Abba’s Child together. God started pulling back layers of our heart that we’d never seen before. I’m convinced that without Abba’s Child, our marriage wouldn’t have survived, our ministry wouldn’t exist and I would still live with unresolved brokenness and wounds.

God used Abba’s Child in such powerful ways in my life, I had to include Brennan Manning in the acknowledgements in our book:

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In 2009, Trish and I had just shared our story publicly for the first time and had been advised to start a blog. We weren’t sure if we should do it.

There is a lot of risk in sharing the messy and broken parts of your life. It would be easier to not share; easier to move on from our past and not keep talking about it. Around that same time, I came across this quote from Brennan Manning:

Christians who remain in hiding continue to live the lie. We deny the reality of our sin. In a futile attempt to erase our past, we deprive the community of our healing. If we conceal our wounds out of fear and shame, our inner darkness can neither be illuminated nor become a light for others. We cling to our bad feelings and beat ourselves with the past when what we should do is let it go. As Dietrich Bonhoffer said, “guilt is an idol.” But when we dare to live as forgiven men and women, we join the wounded healers and draw closer to Jesus.

That became the heartbeat of RefineUs. This is a community of wounded healers overcoming fear and shame to bring light into the dark parts of our heart, and hopefully inspiring others to do the same.

For many of us the church hasn’t been the place we have gone for healing, but rather a place to conceal our wounds. We live with guilt as our identity instead of forgiveness. We’ve learned that living the lie is a lot more acceptable than coming out of hiding.

I don’t know where you are in your life today. Maybe you have realized that you can’t erase your past, so maybe you can outrun it…but you are tired and worn out. Maybe your life is filled with fear and shame and you can’t see past your own guilt to even begin to embrace the love of Christ. Maybe you have tried so hard to hide your woundedness that you’ve lost your belief that healing is possible.

This is a community of wounded healers. We are mess-ups and failures. We have lied and cheated and envied and hated.

But guilt is not our idol.

Shame does not define us.

Darkness doesn’t have the last word.

Redemption is our story.

Together, with many thanks to Brennan Manning, we are drawing closer to Jesus.

 

The following is a guest post from our friend Matt Appling. Matt is a teacher, pastor and writer. His first book, Life After Art, released on April 1 from Moody Publishers. You can find more information on that at lifeafterartbook.com

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When I was in college, my summer job was delivering phone books.

I know, it wasn’t even that long ago, but the phrase “delivered phone books” already sounds archaic and laughable.  Believe me, many of those phone books were thrown away even then before smartphones existed.

The job took me through all of the oldest parts of town, the streets filled with grand and imposing, century old houses looking down on passers-by…

…Well, many of them were grand and imposing.

Inevitably, next door to a magnificent house would be a house that was on the verge of collapse.  We feared that setting a phone book on the front porch might bring the whole pitiful structure down.

I still think about those old neighborhood streets, filled with some glorious homes and other formerly glorious homes and realize how much they say about the life and faith you and I are creating.

Letting Nature Take Its Course

Of course, no one went into any of those old homes and tried to make them fall apart.  No one smashed the windows or punched a hole in the roof or released a bunch of rodents into the front door.

It just happened.  

Those houses decayed with no human effort at all.  Nature just took over.  Rain slowly punctured the roofs.  The mice quietly nibbled their way in.  A windstorm snuck up and knocked out a window.

It was the houses that were still magnificent, still glorious and impressive that took all the work.  Those people had poured dollars and energy and purposeful work into preserving their homes, constantly fighting off planet Earth’s efforts to destroy their work.

Nature is incredibly destructive.  It wants to weather and erode and rust and rot what we build.  If we just stand back, everything we build will decay.

Effort to Create, No Effort to Decay

Of course, the same is true not just of our houses, but all of the most meaningful parts of our lives.

It takes a lot of effort to create a grand marriage.

We put in years of work to shape our kids into godly adults.

And we invest plenty of time and focus into our faith lives.

Friendships, finances, careers, everything we want in life takes so much effort to create.

But it takes no effort to let these things decay, to fall apart.  If we just sit back, other forces will take over.  We don’t have to work at destroying everything in our lives.  The forces of decay will do that work for us.  Destroying things is easy.

Purposefully Create

What I love about Justin and Trisha’s ministry is their call to purposefully create and maintain our marriages.  We have to be deliberate.  Good marriages do not create themselves.  But they will certainly decay without our attention!

And that is the same heart behind Life After Art.  No one just falls backwards into a vibrant relationship with God.  But we certainly lose our faith when we neglect it.  Our kids don’t just pick up our faith without us nurturing that faith.  Like a house, everything is in a perpetual state of decay.  It’s up to us to be constantly, purposefully creating.

Beautiful things are easy to destroy, but difficult to create.

We are giving away two copies of Life After Art!! To enter to win: leave us a comment below telling us what your favorite art project was in elementary school. Comments must be left by 11:59pm CST on Sunday April 6th. We will pick two random winners. 

 

Just Lead!

March 15, 2013 — 1 Comment

Just-Lead-coverOne of our greatest passions for this blog is to equip you with resources to help you continue on the path of refinement in your marriage. Sometimes those resources are geared toward you as a married couple and sometimes for you as an individual.

We are excited to introduce you to the book JUST LEAD! written by our friends Jenni Catron and Sherry Surratt. Jenni is executive director at Cross Point Church in Nashville, TN and Sherry is the CEO of MOPS International. Both are amazing women and leaders!

Regardless if you (or your wife) lead a corporation, a team of people or you are the CEO of your home, this book is a no-holds-bared call to women leaders.

I, (Trish) have been impacted by both Jenni and Sherry’s leadership in my life. I’ve been able to see them lead up close as I’ve spoken for Jenni’s coaching network and will be speaking at MOPS International this fall.

These ladies live out what they write about. Here is a little more about the book:

Just Lead! is a welcome guide for women who feel called to lead but who need help to learn what it takes to break the “stained-glass ceiling.” As two experienced leaders who have served in a number of capacities in churches and organizations, Surratt and Catron not only explore the barriers—internal and external—that keep women from assuming a leadership role but also provide practical reality checks on what women can do to become effective leaders.

Follow Jenni on Twitter: @jennicatron

Follow Jenni’s blog http://jennicatron.tv

Follow Sherry on Twitter: @SherrySurratt

Follow Sherry’s blog  http://sherrysurratt.wordpress.com/

You can buy the book on Amazon here: Just Lead!

Today we are honored to introduce you to our new friend, Christa Black. Christa is a talented lady that has been blessed with unbelievable opportunities. She has been on tour with the Jonas Brothers, Michael W. Smith and is a song writer as well. One of her songs, One Thing Remains, is being sung every week in churches all over the world.

Through her own life experience she has written a new book called God Loves Ugly. Trisha had the chance to sit down with Christa and interview her about life, the book and how she hopes God uses the book. Check out the interview below.

We are honored that Christa is providing us with FIVE copies to give away here at RefineUs. Here is how you enter to win:

1. Tweet or Facebook this: Here is your chance to win a FREE copy of God Loves Ugly from @christablack and @refineus. Enter to win here: http://buff.ly/RNKFeq

2. Share with us your favorite Jonas Brothers song…just kidding. :) Just leave your name and your favorite song in the comments.

That’s it. We’ll pick 5 random winners over the weekend and mail you the book next week.

If you don’t win, you can buy the book on Amazon by clicking HERE. book

This book is amazing and you can help us help Christa and win a free book in the process.

Beyond Ordinary Update

August 17, 2012 — 4 Comments

BeyondOrdinary_spine_3DHappy Friday. We wanted to say thank you so much to all of you that have emailed, Twittered or Facebooked us about our book. Your encouragement has been amazing. We are so thankful for the opportunity to write this book and share what God has taught us about transformation and marriage.

The book doesn’t release until January 3, 2013 so we’ll update you a few times along the way.

This week has been a pretty big week as several people have given very kind reviews and endorsements of the book. You can read each of the endorsements HERE.

We also wanted to let you know that you can now pre-order the book at several online retailers. (Most people don’t buy books 4 months before they release, but we’re so excited, we wanted to share with you.)

Books A Million

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

ChristianBook.com

Parable

We are going to be doing all kinds of give aways and sharing content of the book with you over the next few months. We are also going to be building a team in September that will help us promote the book and get the word out to others. We’d love for you to consider being a part of that team.

Our prayer is that this book saves thousands of marriage from divorce and even more from ordinary. God wants us to have an extraordinary marriage.

Thank you for being a part of this community! We can’t wait to see what God does over the next few months.

Happy Saturday. I hope you are having a great weekend and are enjoying some down time. We don’t normally post on Saturday, but wanted to tell you about a few things, as this has been a pretty big week for us and for RefineUs.

First, our blog has a new look. We are really excited about the upgrade we made this week to Standard 3.0. It is fast, it is clean and hopefully it will make your experience on our site even better. If you are looking for a new theme for your blog, we can’t recommend it enough. A few things have moved around, and there is a new Activities Tab on the right so you can see recent posts, most commented posts and the most recent comments left on the site.

This week was a pretty big week for the Davis family. We have been working on our book for almost 2 years. God has been so good to us, but it has taken longer than we imagined. We are really excited about how it has turned out and are praying that it helps thousands of marriages go Beyond Ordinary!

Continue Reading…

There are few books that have not just changed how I think but change how I want to live. Most books can challenge the mind, very few have touched my soul.

  • The Ragamuffin Gospel
  • The Shack
  • Blue Like Jazz

There are probably a few more titles that I can add to the list, but it is a very short list. Love Does is on that list!

Trisha wrote a post last week about “Love Does” and how Bob Goff’s writing, storytelling and worldview goes deep into the reader’s heart. We both read the book on vacation and had such deep discussion as we turned each page.

What we’ve received from the book and the blessing it has been to us would be more than enough. To go over and above, our friends at Thomas Nelson have given us 10 copies of Love Does to give away here at RefineUs. Ten Copies!

The book is all about love in action. Choosing to love big and live bold. Entering to win a copy of the book is very easy.

1. Leave a comment below sharing with us your name and where you are from.

2. Tweet, Facebook or Google+ this: Enter to win a FREE copy of @lovedoes from @thomasnelson and @justindavis33: http://bit.ly/MuHcOQ

That’s it…its that easy! Even if you don’t win the book, you can order the book through Amazon by clicking HERE

We will pick 10 winners on Friday!

Love Does

June 15, 2012 — 10 Comments

Recently our family went on vacation. One of the things I love about vacation is being together for more than just an evening meal. Justin and I have hit that season of life where two of our boys are teenagers and their time with us at home will come to an end sooner than I think all of us are ready for. We cherish every day we get with them.

My favorite things to do on vacation (besides hang with my family) is to look at the ocean untill the salt in the air makes my eyes red and read however many books I can squeeze into one vacation. This year I read “Redeeming Love” by Francine Rivers and “Loves Does” by Bob Goff. Both we were amazing in their own unique ways.

Love Does” however struck my heart in a way that I’m not sure I can put into words. The way Bob writes about how he engages with his wife, his children, his friends and God is both inspiring and hilarious. In his own words…

“Being engaged is away of doing life, a way of living and loving. It’s about going to extremes and expressing the bright hope that life offers us, a hope that makes us brave and expels darkness with light. That’s what I want my life to be about full of abandon, whimsy, and in love. I want to be engaged to life and with this life.”

I read those words while sitting on the beach and when I looked up from my page whimsy and love were right before my eyes. My boys were playing in the waves with Justin (who seemed the most enthused) and Bob’s words saturated my heart as I engaged in that moment. I was reminded how blessed I am to be a mom and wife. I was reminded of the emotional ups and downs each of us have faced in the day-today hard lessons of life. Lessons learned that caused us to want to stop engaging with each other, with our friends and with the world. But we didn’t because “love does”.

Bob goes on to say:

 “The kind of love Jesus talked about, a love that never grows tired or is completely finished finding ways to fully express itself.”

I never want to grow tired of finding ways to express my love for the people God has placed in my life although I know there will be times my wounded heart will convince me otherwise. But I know this isn’t a love sustained by a formula nor is it a love easily attainted. It’s a love that takes work but in the midst of our labor of love are glimpses of whimsy found in the eyes of a father who loves his sons. Love found in the embrace of a husband who whispers “you are beautiful” because “love does”.

Yesterday morning I left for California via airplane and today I will be leaving California via car with my dearest friend Lindsey and her dog Molly. Yesterday I embarked on a crazy adventure that I have no idea what God has in store for us. I have no idea where whimsy and love will meet us. I have never flown to California just to drive back to the place from which I came. But I do know that I am choosing to be engaged. I’m soaking in the opportunity to move someone I love “back home” because a life fully engaged is what LOVE DOES!

My prayer for you today is that you will be overwhelmed with the audacious love God has for you. No matter if your world is crumbling around you or you’re taking a step back to take in the beautiful picture of restoration GOD IS NEAR.

He came and died for you regardless of your circumstances because that’s what LOVE DOES! 

Two questions for you to choose from today:

What is the best book you’ve read lately?

What is the craziest thing “love has done” in your life? 

Trisha and I became acquainted with Kasey Van Norman through our literary agent, Jenni Burke. We not only share an agent with Kasey, we share a publisher as well. Kasey’s first book, Named By God releases today from Tyndale House Publishers. As new authors,we reached out to Kasey and told her that we would be happy to review her book and help promote her book release. That day is TODAY!

Honestly, it was more of a kind gesture…I had no idea what to expect with her book.

A few weeks ago, Kasey sent us the digital version of the book. I downloaded it and before I even opened the first page, the sub title captured my heart. Named By God: Overcoming your past, transforming your present, embracing your future.

There isn’t a subtitle that fits more closely with what our RefineUs community is about. The book itself is just as good as its subtitle. If you’ve ever been haunted by your past; frustrated with your current circumstances or questioned God’s involvement in your future, this book is for you! This book is a powerful reminder that our past can be forgiven. Our hearts can be transformed. Change is possible. Healing is what God does best. God has named us and set us apart for a destiny that is far beyond what we could ask or imagine.

As a gift to our readers, Kasey sent us 3 signed copies to give away. Here is how you can enter to win:

1. Leave a comment below and let us know your name.

2. Copy and paste this to Twitter: Enter to win a FREE SIGNED copy of @KaseyVanNorman’s new book Named By God from @justindavis33 http://t.co/SIXxAHR9

3. If you don’t have a Twitter account, you can share it on Facebook by clicking HERE

On Friday, we’ll pick 3 winners and send you a free book!

Even if you don’t win, you can buy Kasy’s book on Amazon. You can also check out her WEBSITE.

In 2008, Trisha and I sat in Pete Wilson’s living room visiting with he and Brandi for the weekend. Our families had been friends for several years and he and Brandi were instrumental in the restoration of our marriage. We had been out of ministry for three years and had no aspirations about going back into ministry. One night as we sat and talked around the fireplace, Pete made a promise to us. He said, “God is going to call you back into ministry, and I promise I will do anything I can to help you follow that calling.” Trish and I thought he was crazy. He has followed through with that promise over and over again!

Four years later, I have the honor of not only doing life with one of my best friends, but serving as a pastor at the church he leads, Cross Point Church. He has done so much to encourage, uplift and help Trisha and me, we wanted to do all we could to help him launch his new book, Empty Promises today.

I love this book because it gets to the heart of something we all struggle with: Looking to other things to bring us the contentment and satisfaction that only God can provide. 

We are  giving away 5 AUTOGRAPHED COPIES of Empty Promises this week!

Here’s how to qualify for the giveaway!

1. Leave a comment with your name and where you live. We’ll randomly select the winners on Friday.

2. Tweet, Facebook or Email this: Win a signed copy of @pwilson’s new book, Empty Promises from @justindavis33: http://tinyurl.com/bpqfrku 

That’s it…its that easy! (Let us know in the comment that you’ve shared the post)

Even if you don’t win the book, you can order the book through Amazon by clicking HERE

You can check out the video trailer for the book by going HERE.