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When we look for love, it’s easy to think that getting into a relationship will solve all of our problems. The truth is that, while romantic relationships can certainly enhance our lives, there are lots of things which can stand in the way of our happiness even when we’re coupled up. Here are some of the pitfalls which can prevent us from enjoying healthy, loving relationships.
1. Unresolved feelings
Sometimes it’s easy to think that a new relationship will provide a new start but if there are unresolved feelings hanging around, it can be anything but. Even if you’re convinced that your ex is out of your life forever, it doesn’t mean you should jump into a new commitment. How will you feel if your ex suddenly returns? Feeling as though you have definitely moved on is much more important than making sure you have a new partner in your life.
2. Low self-confidence
When one partner is constantly reassuring the other or having to change their plans to fit around their loved one’s anxieties, it can put a real strain on an otherwise good relationship. A relationship isn’t supposed to fix the parts of yourself which you feel are broken. Knowing that you’re loved is only half the journey – feeling all right in yourself is crucial to the survival of a partnership with someone else.
Following on from the idea of low self-confidence, jealousy is another relationship nightmare. When you feel down about yourself, you’re more likely to be suspicious about why your partner wants to be with you. This may cause feelings of insecurity or frustration and might lead to obsessive behavior, such as demanding your partner be in constant contact, checking their phone or insisting that they’re not telling the truth.
Ironically, people who fear that their partner may be cheating on them are much more likely to cheat on their partner themselves out of fear that they’ll be left alone. Resolving feelings of insecurity can take time but it’s a good idea to recognize when it’s happening so that you can do something about it.
4. Not meeting the right people
When you’ve been single for a while, it could be because you’re stuck for ideas of where to meet people. It’s easy to go round in circles, believing that there is some perfect place where you can go to meet the partner of your dreams but, the truth is, meeting a partner takes time. The best way to go about it is simply to increase your socializing and be patient. If you get out and about enough then eventually the right person will appear.
Online dating is a good option for busy people as it doesn’t take long to search for like-minded people who are ideally suited to you (click here for more information).
5. Having impossible standards
Being in a relationship isn’t always a walk in the park and there will be times when you and your partner drive each other crazy. Walking away from a relationship because it isn’t perfect or because your partner can’t be everything you need at all times will only make you feel miserable and bereft. By following dating advice and being patient with each other, you’ll be able to see that you’re both human and there will be times when you need space.
Cultivating a healthy love life takes work, whether you’re single, dating or in a long-term relationship. Being able to spot these pitfalls when they arise could go a long way to helping you find the relationship you deserve.