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A New Kind of Normal

Aug 28, 2022

One thing that I have learned over the past five years, is that the relational quality of my marriage is often just a reflection of my relationship with God. There have been so many times that I tried to change an aspect of my marriage, or how I reacted in my marriage, without recognizing this truth and what it brought me was temporary results. I have found that I can change my behavior for a while, but until God changes my heart, its only superficial change.

Here is a list of 12 words. My guess is one or two of them may describe how you feel when you think of your marriage these days. One of these words has become normal to you.

 Numb   Distant   Exhausted

Disappointed  Guarded  Absent

Dull   Mechanical   Repetitive

Controlled   Beat up   Uninspiring

For you and your marriage, distance has become the norm. Disappointment has been something you’ve learned to deal with. Dull has described your relationship with your spouse for quite some time. Beat up has become a constant companion.

You have tried to make changes, but they don’t last; they are short-lived. So you feel exhausted and frustrated and have come to see these words as normal.

Can I ask you one more question as it relates to these words? Do any of the same words describe your relationship with God? Do you feel numb when it comes to God these days? It is very hard to have true intimacy with your spouse, the oneness that God created, when you feel numb or distant or disappointed with God. There have been so many times in my life I have underestimated the spiritual aspect of my marriage and have done everything I can to “fix” it; and been unsuccessful.

What if there was a new kind of normal in your relationship with God?

Connected   Close   Energized

Exciting   Free   Inspired

Spontaneous  Life-giving   Encouraging

How much better would your marriage be if these words were the normal way to describe your relationship with God? How much richer would your friendships be? So often we try to fix our earthly relationships without taking an inventory of our relationship with God.

Is there a specific word that has become normal to you that needs to be traded for a new kind of normal?