I Can't Outrun It

It is so much easier to write about where I’ve been and what I’ve overcome rather than were I’m at and what I’ve yet to figure out. The truth is today, I’m tired. I’m emotionally, spiritually and physically exhausted.

I’ve been here before. I’ve tried to outrun it before. I’ve tried to power through, to man up, to overcome, to pretend like I wasn’t struggling. What I’ve realized the hard way is I can’t outrun exhaustion, eventually it catches up. You can only run so long, fake it so long and pretend it away for so long.

What I’m struggling with now is recognizing how I’m feeling and seeing no visible end in sight. Where do I go with that? How do I deal with that? The Christian thing to do is; more prayer, more Bible study, more journaling. The problem with that as I sit and think about it is that these “answers” seem like just more to do right now. Just more things to add to my never-ending to-do list. What do you do when spiritual disciplines seem more like a chore than a retreat?

I don’t feel like I’m in a spiritually dark place, I am in a spiritually tired place. I’m not on the verge of doing something stupid, I’m on the verge of not doing anything. I don’t want to be there.

I guess today, my question is have you been there? How did you find your way through it? I’m open to suggestions and I’d appreciate your prayers.

Any thing you can offer our community on slowing down and finding rest, when the circumstances don’t seem to allow it?