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Will You Feel Like a Failure

Aug 29, 2022

Last week, I was on the phone with a pastor friend of mine and we were talking about the challenge we are facing and the goal that we have and he said something that a lot of people think, but very few say. He said, “If you don’t raise all of the money will you feel like a failure.” The honesty and the authenticity of the question gave me pause.

I know what it is like to be a failure. I know what it looks like to fail as a pastor. I know what it means to fail as a husband. I know the look of disappointment and hurt in my kids eyes when they realized I had failed them. I know what it means to fail hundreds of people that trusted  me and counted on me for spiritual direction.

Having lived through that and lost everything in the process, my answer came quickly: “I will be disappointed, but I won’t feel like a failure…not for one minute.”

What makes you feel successful? How would you fill in this blank: “If you don’t _____________________ you will feel like a failure.”

  • If you don’t close that deal
  • If you don’t get that promotion
  • If your kids don’t get straight A’s
  • If your house isn’t immaculate 24/7
  • If you aren’t able to trade in that car or upgrade that house
  • If you don’t get a raise
  • If you aren’t recognized or applauded
  • If you don’t lose that weight
  • If you aren’t married by age 30

What causes us to feel like a success or failure always determines where we find our identity. For so many years, my sense of accomplishment was found not in my relationship with Christ; not in my relationship with my wife or kids, but in how well my church was performing or growing.

You are a success when you love like Christ calls you to love. When you are present in the smallest moments with your kids. When you find your worth in who God has created you to be and not what you do. That is success. I’m going to do my best to live in that today, and my prayer is that you do as well.

Do you struggle with feeling like a failure in a certain area of your life?