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From Pastor to Waiter

Before I start this post, I want to offer a disclaimer. This transition was my fault. This transition was a product of my decisions. This transition happened because I was selfish; I messed up; it was a consequence of my choices. This transition was also one of the biggest God-things...

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Transition and Comparison

On New Year’s Eve Justin and I reflected on the fact that this was our 17th New Years together! I don’t know about you but that just sounds like a lot of life spent together. Over those years we have experienced several “life transitions” together both good and...

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Grace from Obedience Not Feelings

On Sunday, I had the opportunity to speak at Cross Point in our Light Series. I spoke on Light being embodied by Grace. I talked about the importance for those of us who have received grace to extend it to others. For years I looked at grace as something that would change the...

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Healing Through Pain

We are about an hour from heading to the hospital for Isaiah’s surgery. He has holes in each of his eardrums that need to be repaired. Three months ago, he had surgery on one of his ears that was unsuccessful, so they have to redo that ear, and then move onto his other ear. We are praying...

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Just Being Honest

There are times that I feel like I have it together. I feel like my relationship with God is moving in a great direction at a great pace. I hear from Him; I sense His promptings; I have a desire to follow those promptings; my prayer life and my devotional life are consistent.

There are times that...

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A Relational Assassin

I remember a statement that Trisha said to me five years ago like it was yesterday, “I forgive you, but I don’t trust you.”

It is impossible to earn forgiveness. Forgiveness, if it is authentic, is unconditional. Forgiveness is as much for you, the person that is...

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I Know Where You Are

There is something reassuring about someone that’s been where you are. I remember being at my lowest low and hearing a friend say, “I know exactly how you feel.” Those words were like life to me. I felt God prompting me to say to someone today, “I know where you are,...

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How to Affair Proof Your Marriage

There are several people each week that contact us through our blog and ask us how to avoid having an affair. Some are newly married and don’t want make the same mistake I did. Some are on the verge of crossing some boundaries that they promised their spouse they would never cross. No...

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You Are More

It is so easy to allow things of this world to define us. It is so easy to find our identity in people, possessions or careers. I want to take just a minute to remind you of a very important truth:

You are more than your income

You are more than your mistakes

You are more than your marital status...

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What I Learned on My Thanksgiving Break

Do you remember being in school and the first assignment back from summer vacation or Christmas break was to write a paper. The title of the paper had to be the same but the content of everyone’s paper was different. The title was “What I Did on My Summer Break.” Our family...

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Pride More Important than Healing

Trisha and I get asked the same question a lot. “What can I do to save/improve/restore my marriage?”

Because every situation is different; personalities are different; problems are different; mistakes are different; there isn’t one answer. But more often than not, our...

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Serenity Prayer

Last night as I (Trisha) was getting ready for bed I noticed the TV in our bedroom was still on. It’s not abnormal for my boys to watch TV in our room AND leave it on. Right away the show playing caught my attention. It was a special about children dealing with parents who are alcoholics....

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What If

What if you weren’t the only one?

That is what you believe at times isn’t it? Your reality seems to be that you are the only one. But what if you weren’t?

What if you weren’t the only stay at home mom that felt guilty for wanting to go to work?

 

What if you...

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You Can't Redeem Yourself

Three years ago I sat in a Starbucks in downtown Indianapolis talking with an old friend. Mark and his wife have played a huge role in our life, in our marriage and in our ministry. I worked for Mark for three years. He is the founding and senior pastor of Oakbrook Church. I’ve always...

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Reliving the Past vs Remembering the Past

Over the past few years I’ve taken some shots for talking about our past. I’ve had people email me or leave comments on our blog and tell me that I need to move on. The past is the past. Let it go. I’ve had people say that I am living in the past. Some think that I am glorifying...

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A Way Out

About 8 weeks before the affair started, a pastor-friend of mine questioned my relationship with that particular staff member. He wasn’t accusing me of anything; he was questioning my heart and giving me an opportunity to be honest and come clean. Telling the truth in that moment would have...

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