Is Jesus Enough

Trisha and I have the opportunity to speak at the Velocity conference today. We are so honored and a little nervous. It is only by the grace of God that we are able to share our story and speak into the lives of others. It is such a privilege. The conference started yesterday and one of...

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Covenant or Contract

When we get married, our vision for marriage is a to have a covenant relationship. We are making a promise. We recite vows. We promise to be there. We promise to love unconditionally. We promise in sickness and in health. We are not signing a contract, we are making a promise. We are reciting a...

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A Warm Hug of Truth

An honest answer
is like a kiss of friendship. Proverbs 24:26

For the first 32 years of my life, I struggled with honesty. I told the truth, but would exaggerate sometimes. It started with lies to my parents about who spilled milk on the floor in the kitchen, then where I was going on a Friday...

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How Bad Do You Want it?

Sometimes it happens in an email. Sometimes it happens over coffee. Sometimes it happens after we speak at an event. We share our story of dysfunction, brokenness and restoration. We pull no punches about our mistakes and we don’t sugar coat how hard the recovery process was…how hard...

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You Can't Talk Them Into It

One of the most common questions we get when we are speaking with or coaching couples is: “What was the most important thing you did to restore your marriage?”

Most of the time, people don’t agree with Trisha’s answer. Almost all the time they don’t like her answer....

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The Difference Between Trust and Fear

Our story would lend one to think that I have a right to live in constant fear that Justin will have another affair.

Or that Justin should fear that one day I would eventually leave him because of his choices.

This type of fearful thinking is so destructive. There is no doubt that trust had to be...

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There is No Magic Pill

I wish there was a magic pill that made healing easier than it is. I wish there was a magic pill that would give people the marriage they desire. I wish there was a magic pill that restored broken relationships between parents and their kids. I wish there was a magic pill that made the pain of...

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Never Good Enough

For years Trisha and I had the same belief about one another that became a self-fulfilling prophesy and left both of us frustrated and defeated. My guess is that there are so many people that struggle with this same feeling every single day.

You say it under your breath. You scream it as you slam...

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Porn is Not The Problem

Ephesians 5:21: Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

That word submit gets a bad rap sometimes. We say it in our wedding and then resent it in our marriage. But the word submit simply means “to put someone else ahead of yourself.”

Your preference is more...

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Killing You Softly

Our youngest son Isaiah is playing Upward Basketball this season. Upward is less about being competitive and more about fun. One of the ways that value expresses itself in Isaiah’s age group is that they don’t keep score on the score board. So as the game goes on, the score never...

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Check Your Texts

Over the past few days, we’ve been in several conversations with people rocked by affairs. We’ve talked to devastated spouses trying to find hope and healing because of what their spouse chose. We’ve talked to repentant and remorseful spouses that broke trust and destroyed...

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Do You Like Me?

On Monday nights we usually go to the YMCA to work out, then join friends at Mexican Restaurant afterwards to undo everything we just accomplished at the gym. This past Monday we walked in and my youngest son started acting a little weird and got a funny look on his face. I didn’t think...

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