5 Ways to Love Your Spouse Through Transition

Over  the past couple of weeks Justin has been asking me to write for our blog. It’s a normal request since we’ve been blogging for several years now. And I’ve tried. With computer open, fingers ready, I’ve tried to put words together. Words of vulnerability and the...

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I Do Feels Like I'm Done

No one gets married expecting failure. No bride stands in a chapel full of family and friends, imagining how much she will despise her spouse in ten years. No groom gazes into the eyes of his bride, daydreaming of one day glaring at her across the courtroom as they divide their assets. We...

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Embrace the Dry Season

Maybe you’re in a dry season right now. You are disappointed or discouraged or just don’t have much direction.

Embrace the dry season.

Here are 3 benefits to the dry season:

  1. Life is quieter.

Most of the time, it’s not that God doesn’t speak to us, we are too busy to...

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4 Choices That Will Improve Any Marriage

There are certain issues in your marriage that can’t be changed today. No matter how hard you try, some marriage improvements take time.  But these four choices we’re sharing with you today will instantly improve your marriage. Trisha and I have personally seen these...

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I Want to Be Desperate

I want to be desperate for God. I want to desire an intimate relationship with God more than I desire anything else. What is true about me, and maybe true about you is that I tend to pursue and am desperate for what God can do for me, more than I am desperate for God, Himself. I am desperate for...

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4 Questions to Ask in an Arguement

Conflict is a part of every relationship. What I’ve (Justin) recognized about myself is that most of my relational regrets have conflict attached to them.

I have been in arguments with Trish and have said things that I didn’t mean. I have talked to my kids in a tone of voice that...

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Why You Shouldn't Say, I'm Sorry

For the first 10 years of our marriage I (Justin) avoided conflict at all costs. I didn’t like arguing. I usually lost most arguments and viewed any disagreement as failure as a husband. I equated avoided conflict as resolved conflict.

I was always first to say, “I’m...

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The Gift

In 2009 we shared our story for the very first time during a Sunday morning church service, completely clueless of the ministry God would unleash through us. As I shared in The Gift Part 1:

“That sacred Sunday morning would ignite a passion in Justin and I to create RefineUs...

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One Man One Dream

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. believed every life, regardless of color, economic status or belief system, posses the ability to LOVE. And through the power of love, racism and war could be eradicated, resulting in a world thriving in peace and brotherhood. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was just ONE...

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2 Fears That Over Promise

One of the predominant emotions that characterized the first ten years of our marriage was fear. Fear is something we usually equate with traumatic events or circumstances. But fear grips more of our heart than we are often willing to admit.  I lived most of my married life with a...

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The Role of a Parent

Our oldest son, Micah has his first basketball game of his senior year tonight. I (Justin) made the huge mistake of going down memory lane,  flipping through old pictures of he, Trish and myself growing up together.

I cried like a baby.

They weren’t tears of sadness, but tears of joy...

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The End of Yourself

You had a dream.

You had a vision.

You had a purpose.

You had a marriage.

You had a relationship with your kids.

Today…you’re tired.

You’ve lost your belief that you can be the mom you wanted to be.

You’ve lost hope you can be the husband she needs you to be.

You’ve...

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