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Forgiveness and Restoration Part 1

 (Trish) have been thinking about this post for months. It’s a post that’s been on my heart but somehow the words to write it never come to mind. Yesterday at Cross Point our pastor Pete gave a message on forgiveness. It was like he had read into my heart and...

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Marital Poverty

There is a path that every struggling marriage travels. All of us who are married travel it to some degree or another.  It may look different for every couple, but the principles are the same. Most couples that we talk to don’t know how they got there, but the equation is clear.

...

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Identity In Crisis

I (Justin) turn 37 in 10 days. Wow…that is really old. Just typing t-h-i-r-t-y s-e-v-e-n makes me feel ancient. Birthdays have always been something that I have looked forward to; I love the attention and the birthday money.

This birthday isn’t just a reminder that I am one year...

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The Journey vs The Destination

**Disclaimer: On Sunday night Trisha and I sat in two different rooms writing blog posts. She wrote her post yesterday, and I wrote this post. Neither of us knew how God had laid such similar things on our hearts. I love it when God works that way.**

Last month, Trisha and I celebrated...

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A Full Heart

Often on our RefineUs blog we write about the hard stuff in life, love and relationships. Today I (Trish) just feel compelled to share about a heart that’s full. Not the kind of full that says life is perfect without problems or flaws but the kind of full that makes your face hurt from too...

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Lying When the Truth Would Do

I can remember sitting in a counseling session talking to our marriage counselor. Trisha and I were still separated at this point. One of the things were discussing was integrity. When you’ve had an affair, there’s no doubt that you lack integrity…but this...

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A New Kind of Normal

One thing that I have learned over the past five years, is that the relational quality of my marriage is often just a reflection of my relationship with God. There have been so many times that I tried to change an aspect of my marriage, or how I reacted in my marriage, without...

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Me and My Slim T

My boys have been into watching the NBA summer league on NBA TV. Not much excitement there, but what has been exciting are the commercials. Apparently, advertising is much cheaper on NBA TV than most of the big networks. I base this theory on the quality of the commercials and the quantity of...

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4 Things that Will Improve Your Marriage Today

Within the last month, Trisha and I have been able to offer a new resource through RefineUs; Marriage Coaching. It has been very cool to see how God has brought us 4 couples to come along side and journey with over a 4-month period of time. Our goal for our marriage coaching...

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My Character vs. My Calendar

I had the opportunity yesterday to continue our Chronicles series at Cross Point. We have been talking about the parables of Jesus. Yesterday, I taught on the parable of the mustard seed. The big idea of this parable is that God’s Kingdom may seem small and insignificant, but through...

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Saying No

When our marriage imploded five years ago, a contributing factor was living beyond our means. Most of the time, that phrase is used to describe how people spend money they don’t have to impress people they don’t even like. We did that too.

But we lived beyond our means in the...

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Life Achievements

On Sunday, I walked into my office after the last service at Cross Point Bellevue and saw my 11-year-old son, Elijah typing on my computer. He knows he isn’t supposed to touch my work computer, so it was about to get intense. My assumption was he was on Facebook so I quickly...

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God's Ability to Use You

When you grow up in church, there is really only one unpardonable sin. The Bible says that it is blasphemy, but in the church world I grew up in, it was adultery. When Trisha and I left ministry in 2005 due to my affair, I had no idea what the future held, but one thing I was sure of:...

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It All Makes Sense Now

I’m going to say this on the front end of this post…I am not sure you need to read this as much as I need to write it. I’m not even sure if it will make sense…but feel like I need to get it out there.

One of our favorite things to do on Sunday after church is to go out...

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Protecting Your Rep

A few months ago, Trisha went to pick up our youngest son from school. He got in the van, and they started to head home. On the way home, she said to Isaiah, “How was your day?” He said, “It was good.” She replied, “What did you do today?” “We...

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Unspoken Expectations

Most people only communicate what they expect from a relationship after they have been disappointed or let down. We talk to people all the time that are unhappy in their marriage, unhappy in a relationship, dissatisfied with a friend, because the relationship isn’t what they thought it...

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