Asking Questions

Have you ever gone out to dinner with your spouse and not had anything to talk about? You had been waiting for this date night for weeks…the kids are at your mom’s…the night is yours…but conversation is dead. We’ve been there.

We‘ve been in a restaurant...

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When Consequences Outlive Grace

When we started the church in 2002, our mission statement was “Helping people find their way back to God.” We had no clue what we were doing, we just knew we wanted our church to be a church for people who had given up on church.

One of the couples that helped us start the church...

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Enough to Look Accountable

On Friday, Trisha and I were on our way to Indiana to show the house we still own to some potential renters. About half way through the trip, I got a call from a good friend. The conversation was sadly all too familiar.

“A few days ago, a really good friend of mine confessed to an...

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Own It

On Saturday, our son had a basketball tournament most of the day. Trisha was able to go to the first game of the day, but I couldn’t make it. I showed up for his afternoon game and it was tense from the very beginning. I’ve been banned from “offering suggestions” from the...

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Peacekeeping vs Peacemaking

I grew up in a home where the goal was to “keep the peace.” My parents often argued and as the oldest I would gather my brothers and sister and we would hide in the closet. As I grew up, I learned the ground rules for peacekeeping:

-Peacekeepers walk on eggshells to not upset anyone
...

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Death by Comparison Part 2

Yesterday, we talked about a part of our heart that dies when we compare ourselves with others. We often don’t see ourselves how God sees us, we see ourselves in light of our weaknesses and others strengths.

I want to talk about a deeper part of our heart and mind that we probably...

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Death by Comparison Part 1

Our oldest son Micah has become a really good basketball player. He has the potential to be great. He and I have started to have some epic driveway battles, as we have played one-on-one the past few months. Even more epic than our basketball games is the trash talking that takes place...

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The Masks We Wear

I greeted a friend of mine last night and asked him how he was doing. He said, “I’m not doing very well. I’m sorry I just can’t say everything is fine, because everything isn’t fine.” I told him that it was okay that he wasn’t doing fine and I was glad he...

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The Absence of Questions

This past weekend, Trisha and I had the honor of leading about 70 couples through our Refine Our Marriage seminar. It was an honor to share our journey and what God has taught us over the past six years. Looking back on the weekend, I really feel like God showed up in some...

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If You're Tired of Hiding

I came to a crossroads almost six years ago that changed every aspect of my life and marriage. It was a decision to come out of hiding. The secret I had kept of my struggle with pornography had robbed me of so much in my life and marriage.

Over the past few weeks, I have met with and talked...

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3 Steps Forward Two Steps Back

My entire life I’ve heard the phrase “Three steps forward, two steps back.” This phrase is rarely used as a declaration of achievement. Most of the time that I have used it is has been an admission of failure. I have not made as much progress in a particular area of my life that...

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It Will Feel Like It's Over But It's Not Over

Two days after I confessed the affair, I found myself at the home of a very good friend. He agreed to allow me to stay at his house until Trisha and I could determine if our marriage would survive.

We were approaching the door and he grabbed my arm. I looked at him in his eyes and he said, ...

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