Between Concern and Control

Its 10:37 and I’m trying to will myself to sleep. The past five days have been a whirlwind of emotions…

On Friday, we had the opportunity to do a RefineUs Ministries marriage retreat at a church where Justin was the youth pastor in 1998. In attendance were three of our...

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God's Not Absent

When we got out of ministry in 2005 we had no desire to ever go back. I started a sales job and started making 3 times the money I was making in ministry…that further confirmed our desire to not go back. When some trusted friends approached us in 2007 and suggested we pray about being...

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It Doesn't Have to Happen

Last year, Trisha did a powerful post on 5 Things to Do When Your Spouse Has Had An Affair. I wrote a post on 5 Things You Must Do When You’ve Had An Affair. While we know that part of our ministry is to help couples who are in marital crisis, our heart beats just...

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My Confession

Two years ago this month, Justin and I shared our story for the very first time. Aaron Brockett asked if we would come and share our story at his church, Trader’s Point. At first I told Justin “no”! He didn’t push me and just gave me time to think and pray about it....

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The Power of Time

I am amazed at the power of time. A few of weeks ago Trisha and I were talking to a married couple. She happened to mention that she struggled with anger and resentment toward her husband. As a follow up question, I said, “How long have you been mad at him?” “Eleven...

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Pancakes

Most afternoons my boys come home from school, drop their backpacks and head straight for the pantry. With a snack in one hand and a drink in the other they settle in to do homework or watch TV. It’s usually around this time that it dawns on me… I have to make dinner.

Now most people...

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Knowing and Doing

There is a difference between knowing and doing. So often in my life that difference has defined me.

I know I should turn off the TV and play with my kids

I know I should not talk about someone behind his or her back

I know I should forgive my wife when she’s apologized for hurting me

...
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Wounded Healers

We started this blog almost two years ago. We had no idea what we were doing. One of my best friends told me we could help a lot of people find healing by talking about ours. So our journey began.

I read this quote from Brennan Manning last night that brought tears to my eyes:

...

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The Worst Kind of Doubt

It doesn’t take much to cause me to doubt.

I don’t struggle too much with doubting God, I struggle with the worst kind of doubt: self-doubt.

God is big enough to handle my doubts. No matter how much I doubt God…he doesn’t change. Self-doubt changes me. ...

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The Opposite of What You Feel

It happens almost every week. Sometimes it happens a few times per week. We receive an email; a Facebook message or yesterday this was posted on my Facebook wall:

Please help me help my friend navigate through the restoration of her marriage. She had an affair, which was revealed a week ago. Her...

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Not on the Same Page

Do you ever feel like you and your spouse are just missing each other? You just aren’t on the same page…financially; emotionally; as a parent; spiritually. We have been there…recently! There are times that Trisha and I are just not on the same page. As much as we work on our...

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The Road to Healing

On Monday I wrote that there have been many different types of transitions that Justin and I have experienced over the past 17 years together. Some transitions were self-inflicted some inflicted by others. Knowing the topics of transitions our friends will be covering next week I...

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