The Art of Forgiving

Years ago, I bought a book by Lewis Smedes called The Art of Forgiveness. I haven’t picked it up in years. This summer, Trisha and I are taking a step of faith with our non-profit ministry, RefineUs Marriage Ministries, and are doing a couple of marriage conferences in...

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Your Greatest Hurdle

Yesterday on Twitter, someone posted a quote from C.S. Lewis. The quote caught my attention and sat with me for most of the day.

Pride is a spiritual cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment or even common sense.

So often when Trish and I share our story,...

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Overdraft Protection

There are certain rules to every relationship. There are principles that are true even though relationships and people and circumstance may be different. As Trisha and I talk with couples and coach couples in their marriage, there is a principle that all of us know, but very few of us...

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Radical Grace

Three days after the affair came out, Trisha’s brother came to stay with her. Trish and I were already separated, and weren’t talking to each other. Our marriage was on life-support. I had no way of knowing that her brother was in town…until he showed up at the house...

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I Can't Outrun It

It is so much easier to write about where I’ve been and what I’ve overcome rather than were I’m at and what I’ve yet to figure out. The truth is today, I’m tired. I’m emotionally, spiritually and physically exhausted.

I’ve been here before. I’ve...

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The Dry Season

A Dry Season is when you feel like you are doing everything right, but God is distant. You feel like you are praying, but God isn’t hearing or answering. You feel like you are spending enough time in God’s Word, but His Word isn’t changing you, speaking to you, reaching you. You...

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There is Greatness in You

When I was in 7th grade, I was a total dork. I got beat up all the time, made fun of, cut from the basketball team. I was a mess. In the midst of the worst year of my life, my youth pastor, Jon Sullivan said to me “I see something great in you. I’d love for you to preach the...

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10 Reminders from the Christmas Story

You don’t have the capacity to redeem yourself, but you do have a Redeemer.

You don’t have the capacity to change yourself, but you do have a Transformer.

You don’t have the ability to forgive your sins, but you do have a Forgiver.

You don’t have the power to heal...

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The Most Miserable Way to Live

Almost every week, Trisha and I have conversations via email or on our blog with people who don’t understand how their life imploded. They can’t comprehend how their marriage drifted. They can’t believe that their spouse cheated. While every person is different, every...

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What Lies Beneath

The last 7 days have been unlike anything I have ever experienced. I have gone from being the most non-construction, least mechanical man alive, to a deconstruction, mold eradicating, drywall and carpet ripping pro. We have served 17 homes in our neighborhood; carrying out their furniture, taking...

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It's Not Over

You might think its over, but its not over. In fact, It might feel like its over, but its not over.

When Trisha and I separated in 2005, I was invited to stay with some dear friends. As I prepared to walk into their seven year-old daughter’s bedroom, where I would be staying, my...

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The Seduction of the Stage

When Trisha and I started marriage counseling, one term that kept coming up in our counseling sessions was the term “the seduction of the stage.”

As we talked about this phrase, we discovered how easy it is for us to live for the applause of others rather than for the...

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