Avoidance is My Drug of Choice

I’ve told this story before, but never on our blog. About 8 or 9 weeks before the affair began, I knew our marriage was in trouble. I spent an afternoon with a guy who was a part of my accountability group. We were talking about his marriage. He was opening up, he was being real, and...

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Information Doesn't Mean Transformation

When Trisha and I first got married and entered ministry in 1995, I prided myself on being a person that was accountable. I was accountable in my choices: I wouldn’t counsel with a woman behind a closed office door; I wouldn’t give a teenage girl a ride home from church...

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Accountability is Useless

When Trisha and I first got married and entered ministry in 1995, I prided myself on being a person that was accountable. I was accountable in my choices: I wouldn’t counsel with a woman behind a closed office door; I wouldn’t give a teenage girl a ride home from church...

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God's Presence vs God's Presents

The other day I came across this passage of Scripture that has been rocking my world since I read it. It is one of those passages that is in a story that I have read hundreds of times, spoke on several times and yet this passage sounded different as it hit my heart this time:

Exodus 33:15- Then...

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You Don't Drift Into Health

I’ve been inspired over the past few weeks by my wife, Trisha. She set a goal back in November to run the Music City Half Marathon. She started running 3 miles every few days. Her endurance built up and a month ago, she ran 11 miles one Saturday morning. Two weeks ago, she ran 12...

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Assuming the Worst

About a year before Trisha and I separated she and a few staff members from our church went to the Arts Conference at Willow Creek. It was a conference that she looked forward to attending each year. It was a phenomenal experience for her, but for me, it was 2 WHOLE ...

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Judgmental People Make Me Sad

I had coffee with a good friend a few weeks ago. He knew that I had taken some hits since returning to ministry. There are people who think that I shouldn’t be in ministry because I was unfaithful. There are some that think the restoration process we went through wasn’t long enough,...

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The Saturday Between

As we come to the Saturday between Good Friday and Easter Sunday, these thoughts come to mind that I’d like to share with you.

-Hopeless days always come before a resurrection

-Sometimes my dream has to die before God can give birth to His vision

-When I think God has made His last move, it...

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Sexual Abuse and Marriage Part 2

Yesterday, we talked about the effects of sexual abuse in the context of marriage. It is my belief that men and women who have been sexually abused are broken beyond their own ability to fix themselves. And rather than talking about it and seeking help, we feel shameful, we feel alone, we feel...

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Sexual Abuse and Marriage Part 1

I have been thinking through and praying about this post for a little over a week now. Our prayer when we started RefineUs was that it would be a place where people find hope, and healing and a fresh start. What we have found in our lives is that to find healing sometimes you have to look at...

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Looking for the Living Among the Dead

As I was reading the account of the resurrection a verse came off the page to me in a way it never has:

In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? Luke 24:5

Why do you look for the...

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Amazed by Grace

When you’ve been a Christian most of your life, you learn to live with grace. By living with it, I mean you appreciate it, you acknowledge that you need it once in a while and you count on it when you’ve messed up, but you aren’t impressed with it. After your initial contact...

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