Identity Crisis

I have struggled with identity my entire life…and my heart’s desire is to find my identity in God, and not other things. Here are my message notes:

A LIE believed as though it were truth, carries the POWER OF TRUTH in our lives.

Lies that we find our identity in:

Lie #1 – Who I...

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The Slippery Slope of Rationalization

A few weeks ago I was talking to a pastor who was minutes away from confessing to his wife his extra-marital affair. At one point in our conversation, I asked him “So were you planning on leaving your wife and pursing a long term relationship with this other woman?” His response...

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Benefits of Brokenness Part 2

Last weekend I had the opportunity to get away with the Cross Point leadership for a retreat. On Friday evening, we watched the DVD of Chuck Swindoll speaking at Catalyst 2009. It was just as powerful on DVD as it was hearing it in person. In his talk he said this:

When God has an impossible task...

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Benefits of Brokenness Part 1

Is it possible to live most of your life as a Christian and get it wrong? It was for me. For years, I said that I believed things about God, but lived my life as if I didn’t. I believed that God was in control, yet I acted like I was. I believed that God had the authority to guide my...

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Jesus Doesn't Want to Fix You

I meet and talk with people all the time that are disappointed. At some point in their life; when they were growing up, when they were in college, when they were in financial trouble, when they got married, when they got divorced, when they had kids; they bought into this version of Christianity...

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Reverse Messiah Complex

One of the things that Trisha and I realized early on when we left ministry in 2005 is that we both suffered from The Messiah Complex. Wikipedia defines this as: A messiah complex is a state of mind in which the individual believes he/she is, or is destined to become, a savior.

This isn’t...

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You are Not Alone

About 6 weeks before the affair started, I was sitting next to a creek with a great friend. He was talking to me about some issues that he and his wife were going through. He wasn’t an emotional guy by nature, not the type of guy to open up easily. Yet, here he was being vulnerable, honest,...

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God will Change You First

Trisha and I meet with and talk to couples all the time. One of the first things they express to us is how much they wish their marriage was different. They wish there was more forgiveness, more communication, more respect, more intimacy, more joy, more time together, more patience, more romance,...

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Desperate for God

I want to be desperate for God. I want to desire an intimate relationship with God more than I desire anything else. What is true about me, and maybe true about you is that I tend to pursue and am desperate for what God can do for me, more than I am desperate for God, Himself. I am desperate for...

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5 Things You Must Do to Restore Your Marriage When Your Spouse Had an Affair

The pressure of writing this post is a bit overwhelming and my heart is heavy. Sigh… not because I think I have all the answers but simply the reality of the broken person who will search for this resource. Remembering that surreal and painful moment of hearing “I’m having an...

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Incremental Change vs Transformational Change

I have had so many conversations with people lately that have left me sad and frustrated. Sad because I see a pattern in their life that reminds me of my own. Frustrated because I know a better life is possible and a more fulfilling life awaits them, but they have to choose it. Many of the people...

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5 Things You Must Do to Restore Your Marriage After an Affair

Today, Trisha and I are starting a two-part post on things that you must do if you want to restore your marriage after an affair. I am writing part one today, from the perspective of one who has had the affair. She is going to write part two tomorrow, from the perspective of the spouse who...

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